Relationships are built to not make two people become one person, they are built so that they co-exist and feel safe and secure in one relationship. Love is unconditional, relationships are imperfect.
Stan Tatkin writes, “Appropriately chosen rituals can help couples feel more connected throughout their day-to-day life by providing a sense of stability, predictability, and purpose. These rituals may take only a few minutes, but they can reinforce your sense of connection to another person.”
My two favorite and most influential rituals my wife and I’s “Bubble” have is our send off and greeting ritual. If we miss one of those rituals our day and/or evening is affected. I always realize at some point during my day that I missed something. Like Stan Tatkin said, I missed that reminder and opportunity for connection.
The Send Off
I get up in the morning and have a cup of coffee with my wife before we go our respective ways, on our way out we hug, kiss, and remind each other of our love.
When we both finally get home for the evening, we hug and kiss almost as soon as we see each other. After we do, we ask how each other’s day went and once again remind each other of our love.
Look below to see all different kinds of greetings you can try!
Unplugging to Connect in the Relationship
Another Ritual in our home and “Bubble” is no electronics at the dinner table. No cell phones, no TV, no tablets or even smart watches.
(I know that this idea sounds as bad as cutting off an appendage for some people, but you cannot have a conversation or enjoy each other’s company, FULLY or at ALL, if you are on your phone)
Believe me if you pay attention to this in your relationship you will notice a difference right away.
If you have any doubt… try it out TODAY! Don’t wait!
Inside the Couple Bubble
Communication, Love, Healing, Hard work, Emotional work and more happens in the Bubble. What all that means is that the bubble is a safe place for you and your partner to build together. A place where everything to do with your relationship takes place. And a place that you and your partner get to decide together what is best for you and your relationship.
When you and your partner decide to create your own “Couple Bubble” for yourselves. Love each other, communicate with each other, take care of yourself and each other then take care of each other and yourself.
Ask for couple bubble time often, even when you don’t think you need it. Keep your “Bubble” intact by agreeing on what is shared outside of it. Set clear boundaries (rules) within your Bubble. Respect the boundaries of the couple bubble. Remember to practice self-care and couple care, yes, it is different than taking care of yourself and the bubble, an example of self-care is doing a preferred hobby, an example of couple care is going on a date.
And remember….LOVE each other
Understand that no one is perfect. We all have our faults, we all must accept them, deal with them, and grow from them. We can be perfect for each other though!
I recommend reading or listening to Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin with your partner and using its principles in your life. It is a great foundation for relationships.
Other recommended reading:
–The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
–Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix, PhD
–The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman PhD
–The Relationship Cure by John M. Gottman Phd